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mother is so one with the child that he cannot call her yet -- that's the reason. She is so one with the child that he does not have the feeling that she is the other. Daddy is not felt as being one with the child so much; he comes and goes in the morning to the office, then he is no more there. Then he comes in the evening and sometimes comes and plays with the child, and then he is gone -- so he is on the go.
He can be thought of as the other. Sometimes the father is not there, but the mother is always there; the child never misses her. In fact sometimes the child will go away -- he will fall asleep. When he closes his eyes she disappears, but otherwise the mother is there -- so he cannot think of the mother as the other.
So first he will call 'daddy' and then, by and by, one day he will learn the word and will call 'mummy'. The third thing is that he will learn his own name... because that is the most difficult thing for the child.
Now he can understand that the mother is also separate. Sometimes he is hungry and she does not come from the kitchen and sometimes he is wet and she is talking to somebody He starts feeling that she is other -- not absolutely one with him. But he is one with himself, so the last thing he learns is his own name.
So when two lovers start becoming one, the fear arises: 'Are you losing the other?' In a way you are, because the other will not be felt as the other -- hence the idea of brotherly and sisterly love. Why? The brotherly and sisterly love has no excitement; it is a cool thing. It is very cool and calm -- no passion, no sensuality, no sexuality.
And another thing: the brother and sister have not chosen each other; it is a given phenomenon. One day you suddenly found that you are a sister to somebody or a brother to somebody; you have not chosen. Lovers you choose. In choosing a lover there is some ego. With a sister, with a brother, there is no ego point -- you have not chosen; it is god's gift. You cannot change, you cannot go to the government office, to the judge, and say that you divorce your sister and that you don't want to be a brother to her any more. Even if you decide not to be a brother,
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