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alleluia!"
I have heard about a porter in Munich, a German guy, addicted to beer. By mistake -- that's why I say accidents happen -- by mistake, somebody else was to die but the angels of death took the poor porter, because he was lying in the other man's house who was going to die, completely drunk. It was just a mistake. In such a state he could not find his house, so wherever it happened, he fell down there. The man of the house was not at home, so the angels took that man.
When he opened his eyes he could not believe where he was. He was handed a harp.
He said, "What are you doing? I am a porter, I don't play the harp."
They said, "Here you will have to play the harp for eternity and sing, 'Alleluia!' You sit on one of the clouds. Just look at what the other saints are doing."
But the man said, "I am not a saint! I am just a porter in the Munich station. And what about my beer?"
The angels said, "Don't mention such things here. These things are not available. All that you have to do is rejoice and play."
For a few minutes he tried. He said, "What nonsense! I was living such a beautiful life in Munich, earning well as a porter in the station. And then every evening going to the pub, meeting the friends, drinking -- it was such a joy. And where have I landed? I am not a saint at all; I never even went to the church."
He was very angry after a few hours. "This is too much. Just in a few hours I am getting so angry, and it is a question of eternity. Something has to be done!"
He became angry. And a porter is, after all a porter, he is not a professor. His language is not of the cultured, high society. So he would sing, "Alleluia, alleluia," and in between he would say, "Fuck you all!" -- and start again, "Alleluia, alleluia."
The other saints saw that this man was doing really badly. Between "Alleluia, alleluia," he says something which is not mentionable.
They went to God and said, "This man is saying things which have never been said."
God said, "I know. The trouble is you have brought a wrong man. He is not the saint I have sent you to bring. He is a porter in Munich, and naturally
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