| |
moves with the stream. It is very good; there is no problem in it. Everything can be sweet and everybody can be sweet. But when you live with a person, there are problems. Problems of actual life -- struggle, conflict, jealousy, possessiveness, everything.
So take your understanding from the group and use it with yogi. That is the real group... that is going to be a permanent group. It is a marathon. Marriage is a marathon -- just two persons doing the whole marathon! (laughter) Everybody trying to be the leader and the other being made to be the led.
I have been watching that in the West it happens very often that people who go to the groups almost always bring more trouble when they come out. Many couples break, separate, after the group, and they think this is being very sincere and authentic. They think that they were not sincere, and that's why they were together. Now they are being authentic, so how can they be together? They become very realistic out of the group and they start saying things -- nasty things. And they think this is being authentic, true! This may simply be being violent. A group has to give you insight, compassion.
I am not saying that every couple has to remain together -- no need. But I am not saying the opposite either -- that every couple has to separate. One has to be understanding. If some relationship is such that it is simply destructive and it is not helping either you or your partner, and you have tried all the ways and it doesn't work, doesn't click, then better to separate. But if you feel that you love and you feel that there are beautiful moments also, that there are moments when you flow into each other and everything looks just heavenly, then think again. Separation is very easy -- to be together is very difficult. And sometimes separating from one and another and another, you may get into the habit of separation.
There are people who are divorce-addicted, so even before the marriage they are thinking about how to divorce. The moment they think of marriage, they also think of divorce -- as if their meeting is only for separation; separation is the goal. Don't become that way, mm? Because in three
|
|
|