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in three weeks you wrote me one letter saying that things are not going well with [your partner] and everything is disturbed. Then you wrote to me just after one week that things are going tremendously beautifully and you have decided you will never separate from him. And now just one week has passed and again you are there. So just watch what you are doing.
If you go on this way nothing will settle. This is taking the plant up again and again and looking at the roots to see whether they are growing or not. The plant will die! And nobody else will be responsible.
So when you are with a person, try to be a little more alert. He has difficulties, you have difficulties -- everybody has difficulties. So don't be cruel and don't be violent and aggressive. Try to understand -- as you have difficulties, he also has difficulties. Sort them out together; figure out where the problem is It is easier to sort them out together rather than separately. And don't hide problems... everything should be opened. There should be no secret.
In the group Learn things, but don't expect things from people that you have seen in the groups. You will never find that anywhere -- and then you will have to go again and again into groups. There are many people who live from one group to another. Their whole Life consists of marathons, encounters, tathata. That's not life! These are holidays from life... Sundays. Don't make the week a week of sundays, or else it will be difficult to live. One day it is good to go to the beach and rest in the sun, but for six days even God has to work!
[A sannyasin says: At the moment I feel like I'm drifting.]
So drift!
You must be resisting -- that's bad. Drifting is not bad. But don't resist... at least enjoy that. Always do whatsoever you want to do, but do it totally.
I never say what to do -- that is not my way. I say whatsoever you do, do it, but do it totally. If it is good it will become part of you. If it is not good you will come out of it. That is the beauty of being total... that is the secret of being total. You cannot be totally with the devil. You can only be totally with God. So totality is the criterion.
I
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