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but I can see that it has given a grace to your face. It may have been horrible but it has made you more centred, more collected.
Sometimes a bitter medicine also helps. You did well in swallowing it -- and this Veeresh-medicine is a little bitter! But once you become accustomed to it, it is good.
The whole thing is that you have to be closer to your own feelings, then you will be closer to anybody that you love. If you are not dose to yourself, you can never be close to anybody else. If you don't love yourself, you cannot love anybody else. So be selfish. That's my whole teaching: be selfish.
The first thing is to love yourself. Once you love yourself, you can love... you become capable of love. Then it is for you to decide whom you will love or not love, mm? But it has been good...
Get Out of Your Own Way
Chapter #3
Chapter title: None
9 April 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Archive code: 7604095
ShortTitle: GETOUT03
Audio: No
Video: No
[A sannyasin about his responsibilities as a father as he would be separating from his wife. His wife and he had arranged that the three boys would live with him, while the girl would live with her mother.]
Much will have to be done, because when the mother is not there, your responsibilities become greater, bigger. You will have to be both father and mother. But in a way it can be a great challenge and a growth for you.
When you are just a father, your innermost core is not involved in it... just the periphery. The father is a peripheral thing. It is institutional; it is not natural. Fathers exist only in human societies -- society has created it. It has no natural instinct; it is just a conditioning. So when you are a father, nothing much is involved in it. When a woman becomes a mother, something tremendously meaningful has happened to her. But nothing much happens to a man who becomes a father.
For a woman it is almost a new birth. Not only the child is born; the mother is also born. The mother gives birth to the child, the child gives birth to the mother. Just before it, the woman was just a woman. Now she is
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