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you -- the man and the woman within you, the yin and the yang within you will come to a meeting, a crystallisation. And by and by you will lose the notion of who you are -- man or woman -- because you will be more motherly, and yet you will be a father. This can become a very alchemical situation.
And my whole effort is always to give you an insight, in whatsoever situation you are in, that can become a point of growth. So just try to look at your children as if you are a mother. If you cannot do it for twenty-four hours, then at least for a few hours. And then catch hold of the man. Because it is totally different.
When you are a father you would like to dominate the children. You would like to make them like you. You will become dictatorial. When you are a mother you would like to give them freedom to be themselves. You will not impose yourself upon them. You will be a help in need, but your deepest desire and your prayer will be that they should become themselves. You will not be ambitious through them -- a father is always. a mother, never.
She loves the child just for the being he or she is. There is no expectation. She is not going to fulfill any ambition through the child. In fact women are not ambitious at all. That is male aggression, male violence -- doing something, proving oneself.
But you can divide your time. You can have a certain programme in your mind -- that when the sun sets you will be a mother; up to sunrise. The whole day you can be a father, the whole night you be a mother. The woman is more like the night. She surrounds you... engulfs you... drowns you, and without huffing you, without even touching you. When darkness surrounds you, you cannot even touch it. It is there, but it is almost as if it is not. Its very presence is through absence.
So when you are a mother become as absent as possible. Don't try to prove anything. Just be a help -- and that too, very indirectly. Don't think in terms of responsibility. Think in terms of inner growth. Once you think in terms of responsibility, duty, you are already moving into anxiety. You are already losing a great opportunity. You have taken a wrong step.
Responsibility
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