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is an ambiguous being -- half earth, half sky, half matter, half mind, half animal, half god. That is the agony of man and also the ecstasy. The agony is that man is always divided -- to be this or to be that, to be or not to be. The animal pulls him backwards, and the god in him goes on calling him forth, to come out: Surpass yourself! Just a little more and you will have arrived.
The animal seems simple, comfortable, convenient, because it is our past. But it is boring, familiar, and familiarity breeds contempt. Easy, but not worth much; we have known it. To know it again and again is going to be just a repetition, and all repetition dulls the consciousness. All repetition reduces you to a mechanism, and to be reduced to a mechanism is to be in utter bondage.
So man is pulled backwards, towards convenience, security, familiarity, but repulsed also because it is boring and it has already been known; there is no adventure any more.
The body wants to fall back, the spirit wants to go ahead. And the call of god, the call of the beyond, or whatever you wish to call it -- truth, beauty or any name will do -- the call of the beyond is very alluring, enchanting. It gives a thrill, one feels alive again. It is a challenge, and challenge provokes the spirit, it is a provocation. Sleep disappears and dullness disappears -- one becomes more alert and conscious. But then there are dangers; with the new there are always dangers... the unknown territory. Who knows what is going to happen? It is dark and there is no map. No map exists -- no map can exist in the very nature of things -- no footprints. Buddhas have walked but they have not left a single footprint. It is just like a bird flying in the sky leaves no footprints. It is uncharted, unmapped, dark, but the call creates great desire, longing, hope -- hope for meaning, hope that you can also live a life of thrill.
This is the dichotomy that man lives in. Hence I say that man is an ambiguous being... Like Janus.
The first month, January, is named after Janus because the first day of January looks both ways -- at the past, at the last year that has gone, and at the year that is to come.
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