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people say 'If you meet the Buddha on the way, kill him.' They are saying to kill the belief in Buddha so your own trust is freed from all objects.
Trust is a quality of your heart as intelligence is the quality of your mind. And the less cluttered you are with beliefs, the more you will find trust arising. Who can take it away from you? Nobody can. Nobody can shake it. You trust because you enjoy trusting. There is no motivation in it; it is trust for trust's sake. If somebody deceives you, that is his business; in fact he is giving you an opportunity to test your trust. The man of trust will laugh at the whole thing -- he has passed one barrier more!
So forget all about that. And whenever people seek and search for truth, many pseudo gurus are bound to be there in the marketplace... and California is the super-marketplace for all kinds of gurus. First they used to import them from India; now they have started manufacturing them themselves. How long can one depend on imports? Those imported were false and the ones that you are creating there are copies of the imported ones.
But don't carry any grudge, don't carry any scar; he only did his thing. It was wrong from your side to believe in a person. You have just been proved wrong -- not that he has been proved wrong. That is not your business at all; that is his business. Only one thing has been proved, that one shouldn't trust persons. Trust your own being... trust your own awareness, trust your own love. And that is the work of a real master: to throw you back to yourself.
Surrendering to a master is not really surrendering to a master; it is just taking the help of a master so that you can surrender to yourself. The master is just a mirror: he reflects you. But carrying any grudge, any scar in the mind, is bad, because that will affect your future. That means you are not yet free from that experience. Always remember: the past has to be dropped every day.
And sometimes it happens that even the wrong routes that you follow may bring you to the right route. Wrong persons whom you are with may help you to search for the right person; because to see the false as the false is a great
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