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Love gives you a glimpse of the merger.
And love has many planes -- of course, the first is biological love, between mother and child, lover and beloved, brother and sister. These are biological aspects of love; it is the lowest kind. A little higher is the love between friends. It is higher because it is more subtle; it has no biological strings attached to it. And there is some consciousness, some awareness, some choice in it.
When you love your mother there is no question of choice. You happen to be the child of a certain woman. If it were somebody else you would have loved that person. It is accidental that a certain woman is your mother, that a certain man is your father, that a certain person is your brother or sister. It is just accidental; there is no choice in it.
Even when a lover falls in love with a woman, of course it appears there is some choice; then too there is no choice. It is instinctive. You suddenly feel a deep longing for a certain person for no reason at all. You cannot explain why it is so; it is unconscious. It simply happens. You can only shrug your shoulders -- there is no explanation.
If it is a conscious choice then there is an explanation, then you can say why. With friendship a little awareness, consciousness, and choice enters. It is not a question of biology, of instinct, at all.
Friendship is more explainable. When you love a person biologically as a wife, as a husband, there is possessiveness, jealousy, domination. You would like to possess the whole person, you would not like to share the person with anybody; you will be afraid. You can have many friends, but you cannot have many women, you cannot have many men as lovers, otherwise you will be in a continuous misery, there will be constant turmoil and chaos because all their egos will come into conflict. But you can have many friends. That's the beauty of friendship -- it is less possessive, it is less egoistic. You don't want to possess the person; he can have other friends. In fact if he has many friends you will find him more friendly towards you. A person who has no friend other than you will not be very friendly, because he will not have
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