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was to give me my clothes disappeared in the name of taking the signature of his boss, and locked the room from outside. But because I had accepted the guilt and I had been fined, I had been told to leave America immediately, the bomb was not exploded. He must have gone to enquire what he was supposed to do, because he was not aware what had happened in the court.
One of my attorneys -- and also my sannyasin -- Swami Prem Niren is present here. I had left him two years before in tears in America, and he is still in tears -- tears of love and trust and immense helplessness against the primitive, brutal, and violent heritage of man.
Only such tears give a hope that one day man will be out of the clutches of animality. Niren knows the inside story of what happened to me and my beautiful commune, how brutally they were destroyed because of religious persecution by the fundamentalist, fanatic and bigoted Christians and politicians just because they could not tolerate a beautiful thing happening. They were aware that this was the beginning of the new man and the end of the old, of which they are the representatives. These parasites of the society completely forgot all democratic values and humanitarian concepts when it was a question of their own vested interests being in danger. The commune in Rancho Rajneesh of five thousand sannyasins had exposed the priests and politicians and their conspiracy against humanity as such.
Another one of my attorneys -- Bob McCrea, a beautiful man with some understanding of what was happening -- told Vivek, my caretaker, after my last appearance in court, "It seems and feels to me that they have done it again. They have crucified Jesus again. I'm sorry and I feel so helpless."
It is absolutely certain that I had been poisoned, and these seven weeks I have been in an immense struggle.
I don't have any reason to live in the world. I have experienced, I have realized the very essence of eternal life, but something else forces me to linger on a little more on this shore before leaving for the further shore beyond.
It is you, it is your love.
It is your eyes, it is your hearts.
And when
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