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lurched out into the street and threw himself into the arms of a passing policeman.
"Off'shur! Off'shur! For Heaven's sake, Off'shur," he gasped, "protect me from that man. He has done nothing all night long but carry me upstairs and throw me down the elevator shaf."
93.
The wife of Mulla Nasrudin told him that he had not been sufficiently explicit with the boss when he asked for raise.
"Tell him," said the wife, "that you have seven children, that you have a sick mother you have to sit up with many nights, and that you have to wash dishes because you can't afford a maid."
Several days later Mulla Nasrudin came home and announced he had been fired.
"THE BOSS," explained Nasrudin, "SAID I HAVE TOO MANY OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES."
94.
"I knew an artist once who painted a cobweb on the ceiling so realistically that the maid spent hours trying to get it down," said Mulla Nasrudin's wife.
"Sorry, Dear," replied Nasrudin. "I just don't believe it."
"Why not? Artists have been known to do such things."
"YES." said Nasrudin, "BUT NOT MAIDS!"
95.
"And now I want you boys to tell me who wrote 'Hamlet'?" asked the superintendent.
"P-p-please, Sir," replied a frightened boy, "it -- it was not me."
That same evening the superintendent was talking to his host, Mulla Nasrudin. The superintendent said:
"A most amusing thing happened today. I was questioning the class over at the school, and I asked a boy who wrote 'Hamlet' He answered tearfully, 'P-p-please, Sir, it -- it was not me!"
After loud and prolonged laughter, Mulla Nasrudin said:
"THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, AND I SUPPOSE THE LITTLE RASCAL HAD DONE IT ALL THE TIME!"
96.
Mulla Nasrudin was chatting with an acquaintance at a cocktail party.
"Whenever I see you," said the Mulla, "I always think of Joe Wilson."
"That's funny," his acquaintance said, "I am not at all like Joe Wilson."
"OH, YES, YOU ARE," said Nasrudin. "YOU BOTH OWE ME $100.
97.
Once Mulla Nasrudin was asked what he considered to be a perfect audience.
"Oh, to me," said Nasrudin, "the perfect
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