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But you don't mean it. You ask and you don't mean it. You think it is as if I can give you meditation and you will carry it home just like any other commodity from the market.
Meditation will need long preparation. Meditation will change you completely.
One woman came to me -- she belongs to one of the richest families in India -- and she said she would like to meditate, but she wants to know, if she meditates, is it going to create some trouble in her life?
I asked, "What type of trouble do you mean?"
She said she had a husband and children and a big family. If she meditated, would it create a rift? -- because the husband was not interested in meditation at all. Not only not interested, he was against it: "And I have come to you without his knowledge. I can secretly meditate, but I want to be certain that it will not disturb my family life in any way."
Another woman was with her who had followed her. She said, "What are you saying?... because meditation will make you better! You will be more silent, more happy -- how is that going to disturb your life? Your life will become better!"
I listened. Then the woman said, "Yes, if this is going to be so, I am ready."
I told her, "This is not going to be so, because whether you become good or bad it makes no difference: you change, and the relationship will be in disturbance."
Sometimes I have watched: if you become bad it doesn't affect your relationship so much as when you become good, because when you become better the other ego is hurt more.
If a husband starts meditating the wife's ego is hurt more -- her husband is going beyond her, and he is moving away from her. He may become more silent, so that when his wife is angry he may not react -- but that will create more anger. The wife will think, "What does he think about himself? Has he become a saint?"
She will try to bring you down, back where you were before. Your anger is known to her but your silence is unfamiliar, you look strange. You don't look like her husband. You are a totally different man, and if you go on rising higher in meditation, you become more and more independent -- the wife
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