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because of any choice on my part. As far as I am concerned there cannot be any choice, because I am not. As far as you are concerned, you may be under the delusion that you are here because of your choice, but that is not a fact.
And I am not going to feed your egos because they have to be destroyed. That's what the whole effort is: how to destroy you -- because once your boundaries are destroyed you are infinite. Right this moment, this can happen. There is no barrier to it -- there is only your clinging.
Many people come to me and ask: Have we been with you before? If I say yes, they feel very good. If I say no, they feel dejected, depressed. Why? We live in fictions. You are here with me -- that is not so significant; you were with me in the past -- that seems to be more significant. And you are missing this moment when you can be REALLY with me -- because to be with me is not a physical phenomenon. You can sit by my side and you may not be with me. You can cling to me for years and you may not be with me for a single moment -- because to be with me only means that you are not.
I am not, and if even for a single moment you are also not there, there will be a meeting -- then two emptinesses meet. Remember, only two emptinesses can meet, there is no other meeting possible. Whenever you have a meeting, it means two emptinesses merging.
The ego is very solid, too substantial to merge. So you can struggle, clash, but you cannot meet. You may think that this clash of two egos is a meeting. It is a sort of meeting. You come together, but you are never together. You meet, and still you don't meet. You touch each other, and still you remain untouched. Your inner emptiness remains a virgin land, it has not been penetrated.
But when the ego is not there, when you are not feeling much I, when you are not thinking about yourself at all, when there is no self, that's what Buddha calls ANATTA -- no-selfness. He was very much misunderstood. In India people were talking of ATMA -- the self, the supreme self. Everybody was searching for the supreme self -- how to become the ultimate self. And then Buddha comes and he says: There is no self to
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