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has become a habit, a pattern, you have always done that. You have become efficient at doing it, it has become a track. The moment your mind has to choose, it immediately flows towards misery.
Misery seems to be downhill, ecstasy seems to be uphill. Ecstasy looks very difficult to reach -- but it is not so. The real thing is quite the opposite: ecstasy is downhill, misery is uphill. Misery is a very difficult thing to achieve, but you have achieved it, you have done the impossible -- because misery is so anti-nature. Nobody wants to be miserable and everybody IS miserable.
Society has done a great job. Education, culture, and the culturing agencies, parents, teachers -- they have done a great job. They have made miserable creatures out of ecstatic creators. Every child is born ecstatic. Every child is born a god. And every man dies a madman.
Unless you recover, unless you reclaim your childhood, you will not be able to become the white clouds I am talking about. This is the whole work for you, the whole SADHANA -- how to regain childhood, how to reclaim it. If you can become children again then there is no misery.
I don't mean that for a child there are no moments of misery -- there are. But still there is no misery. Try to understand this.
A child can become miserable, he can be unhappy, intensely unhappy in a moment, but he is so total in that unhappiness, he is so one with that unhappiness, that there is no division. The child separate from unhappiness is not there. The child is not looking at his unhappiness separate, divided. The child IS unhappiness -- he is so involved in it. And when you become one with unhappiness, unhappiness is not unhappiness. If you become so one with it, even that has a beauty of its own.
So look at a child -- an unspoilt child I mean. If he is angry, then his whole energy becomes anger; nothing is left behind, no hold-up. He has moved and become anger; there is nobody manipulating and controlling it. There is no mind. The child has become anger -- he is not angry, he has become the anger. And then see the beauty, the flowering of anger. The child never looks ugly -- even in anger he looks
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