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When God arrives, he is amazed by what he sees.
"What has happened to all the eternal fires and damnation?" asks God. "This place is nothing like the way we advertise it on earth!"
"I know, it is terrible!" sniffs the devil. "Ever since Osho drove in here with his sannyasins, the whole place has had to be air-conditioned!"
King Carlos of Spain, Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands and Prince Philip of England are sitting together having a few drinks in the pub. They get a little drunk and start bragging about whose prick is the longest.
A crowd gathers as King Carlos whips out his machinery and lays it on the table. Six inches! Everyone applauds and sings the Spanish national anthem.
Then Prince Bernhard puts his dong on the table. Eight inches! Everyone screams and shouts, and then sings the Dutch national anthem.
Finally, Prince Philip drops his pants and puts his prick on the table. Twelve inches!
The crowd gasps, and everyone starts singing "God Save the Queen"
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
(Gibberish)
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Be silent. Close your eyes; feel your body to be completely frozen.
Now look inwards. Collect all your consciousness and move straight forward towards the center of your being. This center is the door to eternity; this center is going beyond death.
Get deeper into it. This is your buddha. You have to live it out in your daily life.
I don't like monks. I want buddhas in every place, in every activity.
I want the whole world full of buddhas. That is the only way we can transform the world into a paradise.
To make it more clear,
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Relax and just be a witness of your body, of your mind, and the great silence that prevails over...
At this moment, who cares about the numbers? At this moment, everything becomes sacred; everything becomes an eternal treasure: truth, good, beauty.
Get a tight hold of buddha; you have to bring him back. And you have to live him in your life, moment to moment.
The evening was beautiful on its own, but you have made it a splendor, a majestic
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