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so many unnecessary anxieties, problems, worries. They were all by-products of the basic error that "I am separate". Then the fear of death arises: if you are separate you are going to die. If you are not separate then how can you die? If you are not separate in the first place, you were never born, so how can you die? You were before your birth -- of course, not in this form -- and you will be here after your death -- of course, not in this form. So only forms come and go, the reality remains. Only the non-essential changes, the essential abides, is eternal -- so there is nothing to worry about.
When Maharishi Ramana was dying, a disciple asked him "Bhagwan, after your death where will you go?" Ramana was in great physical pain because he had cancer of the throat. In his last days it had become almost impossible for him even to speak a single word. He could not swallow anything, he could not even drink water; his whole throat was blocked with the cancerous growth. But when this disciple asked him "Where will you be after your death?", he laughed. It was a miracle; the doctors were present and they could not believe how he could laugh. The laughter was so total that his whole body was laughing, and he even said a sentence. For days he had not spoken, but it was as if life came rushing back in. He laughed and said "Where can I go? I have always been here and I will always be here! There is nowhere to go! Before my birth I was here, after my death I will be here." And this was his last statement before he died.
Now such a man cannot have any anxiety. Such a man cannot be worried, cannot have any nightmares. Even death cannot frighten him. He has dropped the idea of the ego, the idea of reparation.
Meditation means the disappearance of the mind and the ego and all the problems that are created by the ego and the mind. It is the ultimate goal. Those who have arrived are called siddhas; siddhas mean those who have found the home.
Sannyas is a journey towards the home -- and the home is not far away. If we go deliberately, consciously, we are bound to reach it, it is just around the corner.
Nirvana now or never
Chapter #5
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