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her honeymoon and is gossiping with her friend, Diane.
"Well?" Diane inquires. "How was your honeymoon night?"
"Oh, Diane!" Judy exclaims. "It was horrible. All night -- up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out. Never get a room next to the elevator!"
Edgar and Louisa Snodgrass are Christian missionaries in Africa. They have been taken prisoner by the local cannibal tribe and are standing in a huge cauldron filled with water. Both are frightened beyond belief. Suddenly, Edgar starts giggling.
"What on earth are you laughing about at a time like this?" Louisa asks with a shocked expression.
"Those bastards don't know it yet," Edgar snickers, "but I just pissed in their soup!"
A Smutz Beer official is naming the winner of the Smutz Beer slogan contest on national television.
"And the winner is Herbert Fine, for his winning slogan: `Smutz Beer -- like love in a canoe.'"
Fine walks up to the stage and receives the ten thousand dollar bill. The official shakes Fine's hand and says, "That's a wonderful slogan, Mr. Fine. Please, tell our national audience why you feel that Smutz Beer is like love in a canoe."
"Sure," says Fine. "It is like love in a canoe because it is fucking close to water!"
Now, Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
(Gibberish)
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Be silent. Close your eyes. Feel your body to be completely frozen.
Now look inwards with your total consciousness and with an urgency as if this is the last moment of your life.
The totality of consciousness and such urgency is bound to bring you to the very source of your being.
Suddenly you have disappeared from the circumference and you are sitting deep at the center like Gautam the Buddha.
Flowers are showering,
a new breeze,
a fresh fragrance,
an open sky full of stars,
a sense of eternity.
To know this is all there is to know.
To make it clear,
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Relax. Just be a witness of the body and the mind. You are not the body, you are not the mind, you are just a pure watcher, a witness. This witnessing
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