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the job."
"Why on earth would you recommend him?" asks the personnel director.
"Because," the previous boss says, "he was our best employee!"
Hymie Goldberg is lying on the psychiatrist's couch.
"So what seems to be the problem?" the shrink asks.
"Well, Doc," Hymie replies. "For the past two months, every morning at eight-thirty, I take a huge shit!"
"Really?" says the psychiatrist, after a moment's silence. "Why, millions of people would love to be that regular. So, what is the problem?"
"Well, Doc," Hymie replies, "I don't get out of bed until nine!"
Marco is a newcomer to the country. Although he does not know the language well, he manages to meet Janet and dates her for several weeks. Then, Janet invites Marco to her house for dinner. When he arrives Janet excuses herself and goes off to the kitchen to help her mother. Marco gathers up all his courage and says: "Sir, I wanna ask for your daughter's gland."
"What?" cries the father. "You mean you want my daughter's hand?"
"No," says Marco. "I'm fed up with hand jobs. Now I want the gland!"
The quiz show moderator says to the contestant, "Okay, Mr. Clump, and now, for the one hundred thousand dollar question, what is the difference between Ronald Reagan and a bucket of shit?"
Clump thinks for a second, then smiles knowingly and declares, "The bucket!"
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
(Gibberish)
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Be silent. Close your eyes. Feel your body to be completely frozen.
Now look inwards with your total consciousness, and with an urgency as if this moment is going to be the last in your life.
The center of your being is not far away. As you come closer, a strange coolness, a silence starts becoming deeper. A light that has no source, a blissfulness... thousands of flowers start raining on you.
This moment, you are the buddha.
This is your ultimate reality. The only character to be remembered is witnessing. The buddha consists only of witnessing.
To make it clear,
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Relax, and just be a witness. You are not
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