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I don't know what I am going to do from here... ]
No need. We think about the future when something is missing from the present. Only a miserable mind thinks about the future. It is a creation, a projection, and consolation of a miserable mind -- that today is not good but tomorrow will be. It is a hope. If today is good, who bothers about tomorrow? It will take care of itself.
This moment is the only moment there is. When the future comes, it always comes in the present, so there is no need to think about it. Just the present is enough. This day is enough unto itself. This moment is going to be the mother of the next moment, so if you have lived it totally, the next moment is bound to be more beautiful than this, because things go on growing. So if this moment has been lived in total celebration, the next moment is bound to be of more celebration, more rejoicing. And once you learn this, you stop thinking about the future, but you start creating it.
My insistence is to create future -- not to think about it. And the way to create it is to forget it completely. Just look in the present, just live it, and through it you are constantly creating the next moment. If you don't live this moment, and you go on thinking about the future, you will not be able to create it, because the next moment will come out of this one, not out of your thinking. It has nothing to do with your thoughts, nothing to do with your desires and hopes. It comes out of the lived experience.
... This moment is the only moment available. The past is gone, the future has not yet come. Just between the two there is a small passage, very small. If you are very very alert, only then you can live it; otherwise you will miss it. Just a little unawareness and it is gone. The moment you think that this is the present moment, it is already passed. One has not a single split second to lose.
That's what meditation is all about -- living in life without bringing thinking in too much. Once you know the knack of it, you have found the key.
[The new sannyasin, who is a doctor and acupuncturist, says: ... all my life I've wanted to know God, and to be of better service
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