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afternoon, "Okay, children, the one who gives me the right answer to the next question may go home right away."
Immediately, Little Albert throws his schoolbag out of the window.
"Who did that?" snaps Miss Goodbody, angrily.
"I did!" says Albert. "See you tomorrow!"
Paddy decides that it is time to get a full-time job. A new salami factory has opened in town, so he goes to apply. He picks up his application form, and he meets Mussolini McVey, the manager.
"Now, Mr. Murphy," says Mussolini, "we have got many applications for these jobs, so we have included two intelligence-testing questions. Come back tomorrow with your application and the answers to the questions."
At home, Paddy looks at the form.
Question 1 reads: How many seconds are there in a year? Question 2 reads: How many days of the week begin with the letter "T"?
The next morning, Paddy goes for his interview at the appointed time.
"Good morning, Mr. Murphy," says Mussolini McVey. "And what is your answer to the first question -- How many seconds are there in a year?"
"No problem, sir," says Paddy. "The answer is twelve."
"Twelve?" asks Mussolini. "How did you get that?"
"Easy," replies Paddy. "The second of January... the second of February...!"
"Okay, okay Mr. Murphy," says McVey. "What about question two: How many days of the week begin with `T'?"
"No problem, sir," says Paddy. "The answer is two."
"Very good," says McVey. "and by the way, what are they?"
"Easy," replies Paddy. "Today and tomorrow."
Farmer Scrumpy has been in the city for a couple of days, and when he gets back, Homer, his hired hand, collects him from the train station in the old farm Ford.
"How is everything, Homer?" asks Scrumpy.
"Ah, so-so," replies Homer.
"Anything much happen while I was gone?" asks Scrumpy, climbing into the car.
"Nothing much to speak of," replies Homer, driving off. "The dog limps a little."
"Really?" asks Scrumpy.
"Yup," says Homer.
"How did that happen?" asks Scrumpy.
"Well," explains Homer, "I guess the old horse was acting kind of
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