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happened to you and you are completely at a loss. But this is how a mother should be; nothing wrong in it.
[The sannyasin says: But there was someone near her who did everything, and I thought if she wasn't there then what would have happened?]
Because she was not in empathy. She was not the mother, so she could be a nurse. A mother cannot be a nurse, a mother cannot be a good nurse. To be a good nurse you need a kind of distance. But that is a beautiful space; nothing to be worried about! Next time it happens really go into it and you will have a great insight.
It used to happen to ramkrishna very much. He was in such empathy that if somebody was beating somebody else he would start crying. Once it happened that a man was beaten, and ramkrishna started crying and shouting, 'Don't beat me!' His disciples said, 'What are you talking about, parmahansadeva? Nobody is beating you!' He showed them his back and there were marks on it. When they went to see the man who had been beaten, there were exactly the same marks on his back. This is empathy.
One can get in such a great attunement with the other that there is no distance left. But that is the whole space of being a mother. Feel good that you have love for your child! If there had been nobody there then after a few minutes you would have come out of it. But next time it happens, go into it. See it almost as if it is happening to you and then tell me. It has been good!
[A sannyasin describes a problem with her sister who is mad and paranoid. The sister is married with children.]
A few things.... First... you need not be worried about it, mm? Because sometimes we can have very inhuman ideals -- for example that you are responsible somehow. You start feeling guilty. You start feeling you are so happy and she is so unhappy so it seems she is paying for your happiness by her unhappiness. These are dangerous ideas; they can create misery for you. And your misery is not going to help her. Only your happiness can help, not your misery; misery helps nobody. But it happens always: if somebody is in misery and you want to help, you become miserable. But that will not help. So first,
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