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absolutely joyful. Even the dependence on the body has to be dropped, dependence on the mind has to be dropped, dependence on the other has to be dropped. That is the whole search for ecstasy, samadhi -- where one is simply happy for no reason at all. But that comes only when you have passed all these challenges. And there is still time: you can still pass through it.
If you had come two, three, four years later, then it would have been difficult; it would have remained a hangover. When the body is no more ready to go into it even if the mind wants to go -- and the mind will want to go because there is repression... But then nothing can be done, it becomes more and more difficult. You have come at the right time!
[Another sannyasin says: I did the whole Tantra group and I never once had an erection the whole time.]
Mm mm... there is no need to force. Sometimes if you want to will an erection that very will will be the hindrance. You cannot will it. It is something that is beyond your will, and if you try to bring it you will find yourself completely impotent. And once the idea settles in your mind that something Is wrong then you will be in trouble. There is no need to will it. If it is there, good, if it is not there, perfectly good.
That simply means that the body is not in the mood in that moment; the body does not want to go into it. The body says no, that's all. Listen to the body; don't force anything. It is just as when you are eating: the mind says 'Eat a little more because it is very tasteful' and the body says 'no!' because the stomach is full and the body is feeling nauseous. But you go on forcing. Sometimes the body says 'Now you are hungry -- eat!' but you are doing something else. You say 'Wait! I am interested in a far more important thing!'
The mind continuously goes on enforcing things on the body and it tries the same in sex too. That should not be done. At least about sex the mind is completely powerless; it cannot do anything. And it is good that it cannot, otherwise it would destroy the body.
Simply listen to the body and go with the body!
[A sannyasin asks: I want to know why I am so afraid
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