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is Sardar Gurudayal Singh's time.
One morning Nancy Reagan is sorting out the laundry when she comes across one of Ronald's white shirts. It seems Ronnie's ball-point pen broke, and it spread a nasty red stain with a dark center on the chest pocket of the shirt.
When Nancy gives the shirt to her Chinese laundryman, Wank, he holds it up, and looks at the stain for a couple of minutes.
Then, shaking his head with approval, Wank says to Nancy, "Nice shot!"
Ronald Reagan is brought to trial on a charge of molesting a female chimpanzee at the Washington Zoo. He is convicted quickly by a unanimous decision.
Afterwards, old Judge Grump looks at Reagan and says, "Mr. President, sir, do you have anything to say to this court before I pass sentence on you?"
"Your honor," says the senile president, "only one thing: If I had known there would be such a fuss about all this, I would have married the bitch!"
Father Dingle goes to Jerusalem for a holiday to see all the holy relics. Out of curiosity, he goes to visit the famous Jewish shrine, the Wailing Wall. When he gets there, he watches in amazement as all the Jewish men pray wildly, waving their arms and with their whiskers whirling in the breeze.
Suddenly, he notices a man standing quite calmly, talking softly to the wall, without any wild gestures at all.
It is strange because Jews cannot talk without waving their hands.
Father Dingle goes over to the man and introduces himself.
"Good afternoon! My name is Father Dingle," says the priest, "and I couldn't help noticing that your method of praying is different from everyone else around here."
"Praying?" says Moishe, the old Jew. "Who is praying? I am talking to God! I am asking for his advice."
"Oh!" says Father Dingle, in surprise. "Well, I don't want to be nosey but what kind of advice?"
"All types of advice," replies Moishe. "Like: Should I let my son go to Poona? Should I let my daughter marry her no-good, American boyfriend? How to persuade my wife Ruthie to be more adventurous in bed? -- things like that."
"I see," says Father Dingle. "And what does God tell you?"
"Ha!"
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