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while he was asleep, because who knows, everybody is a stranger.... He got married just three hours before his death, when the enemies were bombing Berlin and it became absolutely certain that there was no possibility now except defeat. It was only a question of hours.
In the middle of the night he called a priest into his bunker and got married. His friends said to him, "What is the point now that you are preparing poison?"
He said, "Now there is no danger; I will die married. This woman has always been hankering to be married, and I was postponing it." Now there was no point in any defense. He got married and the next thing they did was they both took poison and went on a spiritual honeymoon.
But the fear of not keeping people at a distance is always there. One has to become aware of being with a master. You have to drop your defenses, that's all. You have simply to be open and available. Keep your doors open. At the right moment the master is going to step in -- not physically, but just his spiritual energy is going to give a new dance to your being.
Rinzai's statement is significant.
ON ONE OCCASION RINZAI SAID, "WHOEVER COMES TO ME, I DO NOT FAIL HIM: I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HE COMES FROM."
He does not mean the place from which he is coming, but the space from which he is coming, in what space he is, in what state of consciousness.
IF HE SHOULD COME IN A PARTICULAR WAY, HE WOULD BE AS IF HE HAD LOST HIMSELF.
He will come stumbling, fumbling. He will look... in his eyes you will find that he is simply lost. He does not know where he is going or why he is going. Almost exactly that is the situation for the majority of humanity. Nobody has the sense of direction; they are all just groping.
Rinzai is saying, "I never fail anybody. I simply see straight to which place this man is coming from, in which space he is. I see whether he is hesitant, doubtful, uncertain, looking for guidance, or is full of knowledge which is borrowed, and has a great ego as if he knows."
IF HE SHOULD NOT COME IN A PARTICULAR WAY, HE WOULD HAVE BOUND HIMSELF WITHOUT A ROPE.
Everybody looks as if they are free; nobody
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