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The doubt persists to the very last.
Your name will mean divine doubt. Ordinarily doubt is never thought to be divine. All the religions of the world have been against doubt. I am not against it. I am not against anything at all, because my observation is that whatsoever is given in life is significant. All that is needed is to know the art of using it. Doubt can become a door to the divine, rightly used.
And if doubt is condemned, rejected, repressed, then you will never attain to trust; it is impossible. At the most you will attain to a kind of belief. But belief is impotent; trust is potent. Belief is dead; trust is alive. Belief is borrowed; just to repress the doubt you have borrowed belief. You are sitting on the doubt pretending to believe, but you know perfectly well that it is all pretension.
You can deceive the whole world, you can even deceive yourself, but you cannot deceive existence, you cannot deceive God. He will see the doubt deep in your heart. Your belief systems will not in any way be able to prevent him from seeing the doubt that you are hiding.
The doubt has not to be repressed; it has to be transformed. The doubt is the seed of trust. Doubt totally, doubt intelligently. Doubt with all the power that you have, and you will be surprised: the more you doubt, the more you are coming closer to trust. The more you question, the closer you are to the answer -- obviously, naturally. If your questioning becomes deep, intense, then the goal of your quest is not far away. When the question is so tremendous that you become the question mark, immediately, instantly, the answer arrives. And that answer brings trust; that answer is trust.
Trust comes not against doubt but through doubt, just as the morning comes not against night but through the night. The night is the womb for the morning; it grows in the night's womb. Trust grows in the womb of doubt.
Use whatsoever God has given to you: doubt, anger, sex, greed. All that has been given to you has to be used and has to be transformed. It contains infinite potential in it. Anger transformed becomes compassion. Greed transformed becomes sharing. Fear transformed
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