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Main Index
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can be reduced to one single source. The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.
And to be alone is to be miserable. There seems to be nowhere to go, no one to relate to, no one to drown oneself in. Poetry will do, music will do, sex will do, alcohol will do -- but something is needed so you can drown your aloneness, so that you can forget that you are alone. This is the thorn in the soul that goes on hurting. And you go on changing your excuses.
The master's work is to bring you to the original cause. All your so-called love affairs are nothing but escapes. And I include ALL love affairs. The painter is in love with his paintings. And this is not an accident that if a man is too much involved in his poetry he will avoid women, because they will be a distraction. And women are naturally suspicious of a man who has any kind of hobby, any kind of interest, deep involvement, because then they feel jealous, then they know that he has another woman too. If a man is wed to science, the woman is as angry as if he were in love with some other woman. She does not want this science to stand between herself and him.
And the people who have been seekers and searchers and poets and painters, they have always remained bachelors. It is not just accidental. They have another kind of love affair; they don't need the woman, they don't need the man.
Just watch your mind. In one way and one thousand ways it is trying only one thing: "How to forget the fact that I am alone?"
Just the other day, I was reading these lines of T. S. Eliot:
ARE WE ALL IN FACT UNLOVING AND UNLOVABLE?
THEN ONE IS ALONE....
If love is not possible then one is alone. Love has to be MADE possible; if it is not possible it has to be created, believed in. If it is almost impossible then the illusion has to be created -- because one needs to avoid one's aloneness.
When you are alone you are afraid. Remember, the fear does not come from ghosts. When you are alone the fear comes from your aloneness. But we go on hiding that cause, because to see that cause
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