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then good, beautiful. If it is destroying love, there is no point in it.
These three months will be very helpful. Meditate and be free. Try to become a person in your own right. The indian woman has lost personality. She never thinks in terms of her own life. She simply thinks in terms of being a wife, of being a daughter, of being a sister, and all sorts of things. But she never thinks in terms of being a person -- and that is the most basic thing.
The first thing to think of is that you are a person in your own right. Of course you are a mother, but that is secondary. You are a wife, but that is secondary. You are a sister, a daughter, but those are secondary things. The basic thing is that you are a person, intrinsically valuable, an end in yourself. Nothing of that can be sacrificed; this personality cannot be sacrificed for anything. And everything can be sacrificed for this personality. You will have to be courageous.
I don't say to separate. If love can flower.... It may flower. But don't avoid anything. Take the whole situation into account. Come back and talk to your husband. Lay all the cards on the table; don't hide anything. Say that this is the situation: either we love each other and we live together, otherwise, what is the point? Why should we carry on?
Be there and meditate and then we will talk about it. There is nothing to worry about, mm?
[A sannyasin says: I use the I Ching and I was wondering if there is anything wrong with this sort of thing?]
You can continue to use it, mm? There is nothing wrong in it because nothing is right in it [laughter]. It is just a game. If you enjoy it, you can play. Right and wrong are relevant when something is real, but when something is a game it is right if you enjoy it. If you feel it helps, it is right. In itself it has no meaning; it is absurd.
But it can suit you and you can find ways through it. That simply shows that you are not clear about your own ways and you need some help to find them out. The I Ching makes it easier. You can throw the responsibility on it. You can say that the I Ching has decided this, so now you have to do it. It may have been difficult
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