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yes means life and no means death.
But one can use the no to define the yes. Then it is beautiful. It becomes like a field and a figure; it becomes a gestalt. The no becomes the field, the darkness, and the yes becomes like a lamp, a flame -- the figure. The no is no longer against it. In fact it enhances it, so it gives a contrast; it gives it life.
That's why in the night the stars are so beautiful. In the day they disappear because there is only light and the background is not there.
So I would not like a total surrender, because that will be a dead surrender. I would like a surrender which is not total but very creative, which will use the no in defining the yes. Then you will have a more beautiful vision. And you will never be against yourself. Otherwise you will always be trying to drop this no-part -- and that is you !
That's how all the religions have crippled humanity. They make something the enemy. Sometimes they say sex is the enemy, and then people try to drop sex. Sometimes they say love is the enemy, and then people try to become unloving, cold, because love brings attachment. Sometimes they demand total surrender. Then what will you do with your no-part which is very active, throbbing and kicking? This is what gives you life.
Never try to drop it; rather, try to use it in a higher synthesis. Try to use it in a greater creativity. Make it part of a higher harmony, because it is needed in the orchestra; it gives contrast. So when you surrender in spite of the no, surrender is more alive. And that is the only way to surrender.
If somebody waits until they feel total they will find it never happens, because totality is just an ideal; it is never actual. It can never be actual, because the moment it becomes actual you will drop dead.
That's why in the East we say that whenever a person has become a totality, this is his last life. He will never be coming back again because he has attained to ultimate death. That is what nirvana is. Buddha will not come back because he has come to such a total synthesis that now nothing is lacking. Perfection is death. He will have to disappear.
This world exists for
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