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and it will be painful, but allow it.
And after ten sessions, when you have started breathing naturally, for at least twenty-one days continuously remember to breathe naturally -- otherwise you can fall back into the old pattern. After twenty-one days you will never fall into the old gap because you will have such a flowing life. The whole body will be vibrating.
[A group member says: I've been feeling a lot of emotions of a man and child, but I noticed I don't feel the emotions of a woman.]
There is nothing to be worried about. The emotions of the child will soon become the emotions of the woman; just wait. You have repressed the woman so much that it cannot surface directly. It is surfacing through the child.
Have you watched that whenever you love a woman, you start calling her names that indicate childhood -- 'baby'? The face of a woman is more like that of a child and it retains that childhood to the Very end. It has no beard or moustache and is more soft, more like a child, than anybody else.
You have repressed the woman part so deeply that the woman cannot face you directly now. It is coming via media now; it is coming from the child. The child is the woman. Soon you will see a change coming and the child will turn into a woman.
Women are childish -- that's their beauty and their aliveness. A real woman never matures, in a way. She remains and retains something of the virginity, the purity and innocence of the child. Once a woman becomes mature, her face starts becoming ugly. She becomes cunning and clever.
So this child is just a symbol. When the unconscious is repressed too much, it can communicate only through symbols. For example in a dream, if you want to kill your father, you will kill your uncle, not your father -- because the uncle looks like the father but is not. To kill the father even in a dream is difficult, so you kill the uncle.
Our censor has gone so deep and we have repressed so much that even the unconscious mind has to take some garb, some mask. Otherwise, even in your dream your hand will be slapped. What are you doing? Killing your father? That is the most criminal act in the world
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