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the murder of the father -- is the worst crime that a man can commit. Why do all the societies have that idea? There is a possibility that if people were allowed, many children would like to kill their father. That idea arises naturally because the father tries to discipline you, to prohibit you, to order you -- so he looks like the enemy. It is very difficult for any child not to think of killing the father. You grow up, but the idea remains inside.
Certainly patricide is one of the most criminal acts, because the father has given birth to you and you kill him. He gives you life and you give him death.
[Osho said that as a child, if one is a boy one is condemned for doing anything girlish, so that attitude of condemnation becomes part of one in growing up and the feminine side of one becomes more and more repressed... ]
So a part suffers, because a man and a woman are each both man and woman. That part is trying to communicate to you. It is afraid that you may not accept it as a woman so it has taken the garb of a child. Accept it, allow it.
The more you allow these emotions, the sooner will the day come when the child has disappeared and the woman has come in. That will be a great experience, a satori -- when your inner woman and man meet and you become, for the first time, indivisible. Right now you are divided into two parts. When they meet and there is an inner orgasm of these two energies, you become one, indivisible, undivided.
So allow it. It has been very good.
[A sannyasin said that during the group she had felt different sensations in the left and right sides of her head, and felt like she was going mad. Osho checked her energy.]
You can sit silently by yourself and press your own eyes. Press the eyeballs until you start seeing lights. Don't hurt the eyes too much; a little hurt is allowed. Just go on watching those lights.
That will settle many things. Do this for four or five minutes -- pressing the eyes -- and then relax for five minutes, then again press them. Do this for forty minutes and then just splash cool water over them. Close your eyes and feel the coolness.
Do this for fifteen
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