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let the divorce happen and then come here. You are already married, so marriage is just going to be formal. You can do it later on if she wants to.
Don't be in a hurry, because sometimes the very fact of marriage changes the quality of the relationship. People start taking each other for granted; that's the difficulty of marriage. Without marriage you are lovers and love is more fluid, more flowing. Because you cannot take each other for granted, you have to renew your love every moment.
Once you are married, once love has become legal, once the law has entered into love, then logic has entered; economics and politics have entered love. Love is a private phenomenon between two persons and marriage is a social affair. Once society enters, it is already public.
Then there is trouble, because sooner or later you start thinking in terms of the past, not in terms of the future. Then you are a husband and she is a wife. You have certain roles and those roles become so fixed that people are forgotten; only roles remain. Then there is the responsibility of being a husband and a father, of being a wife and a mother. There are duties to perform, but the joy, the playfulness, is lost.
So don't be in a hurry. First come here together.
[The Tathata group is present. The group leader said that he saw through the group how the harmony that comes about through conflict works.]
The whole pattern of Tathata is such that you go on forcing so that the negative surfaces. When the negative is released on the surface, the positive will be left there. You need not create it. You have simply to make way for it. The negative gone, the way is open. The negative leaves the inner space and that empty space simply attracts the positive. You are not to do anything else.
It is just as if a seed is in the earth and a rock is sitting on top of it so the seed cannot sprout. You remove the rock and immediately the seed starts sprouting. It was ready to sprout but there was no way for it; the rock was in the way. So anger, hatred, jealousy, possessiveness -- all negativities are just rock-like, sitting on top of your positive seed. Remove them and the
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