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the whole business. Jesus was crucified because of the priests; the priests were behind the whole scene. No prophet is ever tolerated by priest -- cannot be tolerated; it is dangerous.
So if you incident had helped you to become aware of priest, it was good. But somehow your association went wrong. Don't go to a church, there is no need; God is everywhere. Don't go to a priest, there is no need; God is available to you -- directly, immediately. But if you have a resistance to the word `god' itself, that will become a barrier. That will prohibit you; that won't allow you to flow towards the infinite. and there is no reason -- because God has not done anything. The priest turned away, but do you know that God turned away? God has never turned away from anybody. In fact, because the priest turned away, God may have looked and cared for the dying man more -- because there was no other help. When a man is helpless, God simply starts flowing towards him. In tremendous helplessness you become receptive. When the man was completely helpless, and the priest turned away, and the man dying and death is enclosing upon him -- in that helplessness he must have made a contact; you cannot see it from the outside.
Be against the priest. But there is no need, it is not warranted at all, that you say, I know God is within me. You don't know, you know it not at all. You have heard it. You have heard me say it, you have heard Jesus saying it -- "God is within you" -- but you don't know it at all. Because once you know it, then there is no problem; knowing that `God is within me', immediately God is without too. The moment you know a single ray of the divine penetrating you, you have come to know all that is there to be known, it becomes known, the without is known. The without known, it become known in the within too -- because within and without are not two separate things, they are two aspects of the same energy.
Now, this thinking that `God is within me' may again be a trick of your resistance, because you don't want to see God out there. You are against it, because somewhere deep down in your mind you feel that if God is there then you will need a mediator,
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