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you are a king -- now to be a monk is the most distant phenomenon.
The most distant is the most dreamy. It attracts, it obsesses, it goes on calling, inviting you, and then when you have reached the other pole, this place from where you have traveled will become beautiful again. Divorce your wife, and after a few years the wife has again gained beauty.
A film actress came to me. She had divorced her husband fifteen years ago. Now she is old, less beautiful than she was when she and her husband were separated. Their son was married last year, so at the marriage she met her husband again, and they had to travel together. The husband fell in love with her again, so she came to me and asked, "What should I do? Now he is proposing again, he wants to get married to me again."
She was also fascinated. She was just waiting for me to say yes. I said, "But you lived together, there was always conflict and nothing else. I know the whole story -- how you were fighting, quarreling, how you created hell and misery for each other. Now again...?"
For the mind the opposite is magnetic, and unless through understanding you transcend this, the mind will go on moving from left to right, from right to left, and the clock will continue.
It has continued for many lives, and this is how you have been deceiving yourself -- because you don't understand the mechanism. Again the distant becomes appealing, again you start traveling. The moment you reach your goal that which you used to know is now distant, now has appeal, now becomes a star, something worthwhile.
I was reading about a pilot who was flying over California with a friend. He told the friend, "Look down at that beautiful lake. I was born near it, that is my village."
He pointed to a small village just perched in the hills near the lake, and he said, "I was born there. When I was a child I used to sit near the lake and fish; fishing was my hobby. But at that time, when I was a child fishing near the lake, always airplanes used to fly in the sky, passing overhead, and I would dream of the day when I would become a pilot myself, I would be piloting an airplane. That was my only dream.
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