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contempt has always been there, hidden. It comes up, it was waiting for the right moment; the seed was there.
The mind always has the opposite within it, and that opposite goes into the unconscious and waits for its moment to come up. If you observe minutely, you will feel it every moment. When you say to someone, I love you, close your eyes, be meditative, and feel -- is there any hatred hidden? You will feel it. But because you want to deceive yourself, because the truth is so ugly -- the truth that you hate a person that you love -- you don't want to face it. You want to escape from real-ity, so you hide it. But hiding won't help, because it is not deceiving somebody else, it is deceiving yourself.
So whenever you feel something, just close the eyes and go into yourself to find the opposite somewhere. It is there. And if you can see the opposite, that will give you a balance, then you will not say, "I love you." If you are truthful you will say, "My relationship with you is of love and hate."
All relationships are love/hate relationships. No relationship is of pure love, and no relationship is of pure hate. It is both love and hate. If you are truthful you will be in difficulty. If you say to a girl, "My relationship with you is of both love and hate. I love you as I have never loved anybody and I hate you as I have never hated anybody," it will be difficult for you to get married unless you find a meditative girl who can understand the reality; unless you can find a friend who can understand the complexity of the mind.
Mind is not a simple mechanism, it is very complex, and through mind you can never become simple because mind goes on creating deceptions. To be meditative means to be aware of the fact that mind is hiding something from you, you are closing your eyes to some facts which are disturbing. Sooner or later those disturbing facts will erupt, overpower you, and you will move to the opposite. And the opposite is not there in a distant faraway place, in some star; the opposite is hidden behind you, in you, in your mind, in the very functioning of the mind. If you can understand this, you will stop in the middle.
If you
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