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You can repress the desire, you can avoid any authoritative role; the desire will remain there. Whenever the authoritative role is given to you, the desire hidden in the unconscious, the repressed desire, becomes alive, jumps on the role.
It is beautiful to watch it and get rid of it; rather than getting rid of the role, rather than trying to avoid the role itself, it is better to get rid of the desire to be authoritative. So Nirgun, it is good that you are placed in a role where again and again you will have to say to people, "Don't do this."
But this can be said in a very nonauthoritative way. There is no need to be authoritative about it. Don't make it a trip. And then the situation will be a great opportunity to grow. I have put many people in authoritative roles. That is the only way to get rid of any repressed desire. When the situation is there and the opportunity is there, the desire comes up, surfaces.
And Nirgun has that desire deep down; hence the fear. She would like to escape from the situation. She would like some work where there is no need to say to anybody, "Don't do this." But how will you get rid of the desire? It is easy to avoid children, but it is very difficult to get rid of the parent role. It is very easy never to be in a position where you have to say to people, "Do this. Don't do this." Very easy. But how will you get rid of the subtle aggressive energy in you?
I would like you to use these situations. And this ashram has to be a constantly ongoing group. Every situation has to be used in such a way that it helps your spiritual growth.
She refers to Chuang Tzu, the famous story that Chuang Tzu was asked by the Emperor to come to the palace and to become his prime minister. I have commented on the story. I love Chuang Tzu.
Two messengers came from the Emperor. Chuang Tzu was fishing, and they came and they said, "The Emperor wants you to become the prime minister of the country." Chuang Tzu said, "Do you see that turtle there, wagging its tail in the mud?" They said, "Yes, we see." "And do you see how happy he is?" They said, "Certainly. He looks tremendously happy."
And then Chuang Tzu said,
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