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the man, now you start pushing him away. Once you push him away, for a few days you will feel good again, mm? -- you have freedom -- but once he is really away, then what to do with that freedom? You are left alone with your freedom... to do nothing!
This is the human dilemma: freedom wants love, love wants freedom. When you are in freedom you want to grow into love; when you grow into love the freedom is lost. Then you start asking for freedom, you start destroying the love.
This has to be understood. Once you understand it there arises a subtle understanding, and that understanding helps you to make a certain synthesis between freedom and love. That synthesis has completely broken in the western mind.
The western mind, particularly the modern generation, has completely lost track of that synthesis: how to be with someone and yet be free, and how to be free and yet be with someone. That is-one of the greatest arts. It comes slowly. It is very delicate; it is like a knack. And that has to be learned, otherwise again and again you will be in a turmoil.
Once you are alone it will be good for a few days because you will compare it with that situation where the other was there and you were hampered. You wanted to do this thing and you could not do, you wanted to rest one morning and you could not rest, you wanted not to go anywhere, to sleep the whole day, and you could not sleep.
Now you can sleep, now you can do whatsoever you want. Now your bathroom is free, mm? -- the other's things are not there. Your room is completely free and he has not thrown his clothes anywhere; now things are clean. But only for a few days and then you start missing the other.
Where is his toothbrush? Where is his towel? you start feeling lonely, alone; you start feeling that somebody should be there. Yes, it is alone but now it is no more warm! Those small things were making it warm. Somebody was there to look after you, somebody was there to be looked after. Now nobody disturbs your sleep; now there is nobody in the morning to give you tea. There is nobody to look after, nobody is ever ill, nothing -- but then what to do? Suddenly you are there
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