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at it as your personal problem; that is not the way to look at any problem. No problem is personal in a way. Each problem is everybody's problem, more or less. A difference of degree may be there but that is not of much importance. Look at each problem as human -- then it is easier to solve because then you can stand aloof. Look at it from a distance, then you are not involved personally. You can be more an observer and you can come to more impartial judgements. So don't take it as personal; that is one of my basic approaches. Always treat a problem as universal, as human, then things are easier. Then you can look at the totality of it.
When you think 'It is my problem', you are too worried; in that worry, you cannot think. Worry is one of the basically destructive qualities of the mind which does not allow thinking. Worry is not thinking. Thinking is never worried; thinking is a very relaxed phenomenon. Worry is too tense; it cannot think. It moves into the same groove again and again and again. It is simply confusion gone berserk. Everything rushes in, rushes out, but there is never any conclusion. It is like a wheel that goes on moving in the same rut.
So don't be worried about it.... Look at it from a distance. It is everybody's problem; this is how man is. At this point, man is at the middle stage: he is no more an animal, he is not yet totally man, so there is a tension in the being. Now, this tension has to be solved but in such a way that the solution is not more dangerous than the illness itself.
So you have to choose all the qualities of the wild animal in you. They have many qualities; the wild animal is not just to be condemned. It has something very beautiful, tremendously beautiful: the spontaneity, the freedom, the wildness, the simplicity, the innocence. They have to be chosen, they have to be absorbed into a higher synthesis. And the human also has something to say....
From the human take awareness, and from the animal take spontaneity. From the human take responsibility, from the animal take innocence. Start working on a higher synthesis then both will be satisfied and will not be at each other's neck. Your conflict
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