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you started growing an artificial being. That is the whole social effort; socialisation they call it. At that age, somewhere neat twelve, you became a social being; up to that moment you were a natural being. So a rift happened.
So the primal worked. You should be happy that it worked. It creates trouble, but if you can take the courage and start growing towards your natural inclination, soon the trouble will disappear and you will attain to an authentic being. And this will not take long.... Consciousness can grow very fast. Now your body is grown-up; just your consciousness is hanging behind.
How old are you as far as the body is concerned?
[She replies: Thirty-two.]
Thirty-two? Mm -- so there is a twenty-year gap between your being and your body, but that twenty-year gap can be covered in twenty minutes even... sometimes twenty seconds, sometimes one second. Sometimes it may take twenty years; it depends how courageous you are. If you become frightened and you start playing the old game again, then you can destroy the work that primal has done.
Be courageous! -- that's my whole idea here. Be courageous; in this community everything is allowed.
Nobody is trying to control you and nobody is imposing any goals from the outside. You will be loved as you are; you will be loved more if you are really true, so become spontaneous. Start moving, behaving like a twelve-year-old girl.
It will be embarrassing; nothing to be worried about. Start falling in love, in puppy love, again, mm? -- which you missed in the past. Fulfill it, let that be completed. Become shy like a twelve-year-old girl; start fantasising and dreaming like a twelve-year-old girl. Allow it, don't repress it any more because then you will undo the whole thing. And I can see even on your face that that child is there; in your eyes the child is there.
Your body is grown-up so the body will pull you, but you have to resist that temptation. Sometimes you will look foolish, mm? -- if you behave like a twelve-year-old child you will look foolish -- but nothing to be worried about: be foolish! There is nothing wrong in it; sometimes it is very very beneficial.
It
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