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OF WHATEVER CAME INTO MY MIND WITHOUT ANY LONGER DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG, AND I SAID WHATEVER CAME INTO MY MOUTH WITHOUT ANY LONGER DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN BENEFIT AND HARM. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THE MASTER PULLED ME OVER TO SIT WITH HIM ON THE SAME MAT.
AFTER NINE YEARS I THOUGHT WITHOUT RESTRAINT OF WHATEVER CAME INTO MY MIND, AND SAID WITHOUT RESTRAINT WHATEVER CAME INTO MY MOUTH WITHOUT KNOWING WHETHER THE RIGHT OR WRONG, BENEFIT OR HARM, WERE MINE OR ANOTHER'S, AND WITHOUT KNOWING WHETHER THAT MASTER WAS MY TEACHER OR NOT. EVERYTHING WAS THE SAME.
NOW YOU COME TO BE MY DISCIPLE, AND BEFORE EVEN A YEAR HAS GONE ROUND YOU ARE INDIGNANT AND RESENTFUL AND TIME AGAIN!
The greatest art in the world is to be a disciple. It cannot be compared to anything. It is unique and incomparable. Nothing like it exists in any other relationship, nothing like it can exist.
To be a disciple, to be with a master, is to move into the unknown. You cannot be very aggressive there. If you are aggressive, the unknown will never be revealed to you. It cannot be revealed to an aggressive mind. The very nature of it is such that you have to be receptive, not aggressive.
The search for truth is not an active search, it is a deep passivity -- in your deep passivity you will receive. But if you become too active and concerned, you will miss. It is like being a womb, it is feminine, you receive the truth as a woman receives a pregnancy.
Remember this... then many things will become easier to understand.
To be near a master is to be just a passivity, absorbing whatsoever the master gives or whatsoever the master is -- not asking. The moment you start asking you have become aggressive, the receptivity is lost, you have become active. The passive, the feminine, is no longer there. Nobody has ever reached the truth as a male -- aggressive, violent. That's not possible. You reach very silently. In fact, you wait and truth reaches you. The truth seeks you, like water seeks some hollow ground, moves downwards, finds a place, and becomes a lake.
An active mind is too filled with itself; an active mind thinks that it knows what truth
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