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is silent, its recognition is silent.
All that you have to know is to be silent to understand the recognition.
As far as I am concerned, I have given you recognition just by initiating you on the path of mysticism. I have not asked whether you are worthy or not, whether you deserve or not. I have recognized your potential spirituality without any examination, without any test.
You say "... a sign that you see me, that you know I exist -- a look, a hand gesture, perhaps to answer a question." I know that you exist -- and my whole effort is that you should not exist; that's why I go on avoiding seeing you! Because seeing you may give you energy and nourishment to exist, and that is not your true existence; that is your ego, you are suffering from an inferiority complex. I want you to drop this ego which is hungry for recognition. And the moment you drop it, immediately you will find there is recognition.
You say, "You never respond to this. Feeling the tension and pain this longing causes in me, I cry and then relax." If you have carefully understood your own question, it has the answer: You cry and then relax. "An opening is there and you look my way."
If you are relaxed the whole existence is tremendously happy. Not only am I looking at you, everything is looking at you. But the reason is your relaxation, the reason is your crying; your tears cleanse you, your relaxation does not allow the ego to form. And you have come to know the secret -- that I look your way...
"Osho, must I always go through this way of pain and tears to reach my inner being?" It all depends on you. If you love it, if you want it this way -- only then do you have to go through pain and tears. Otherwise you can go through laughter and singing and dancing. The whole question is that in pain and tears, or in singing and dancing, the ego disappears -- it is your choice.
I have heard, a man noticed a signboard on a restaurant saying, "You are welcome here, and you will feel absolutely at home. Come in; at least just give us one chance to serve you."
The man entered. The waitress came and he ordered four burnt chapatis. The waitress could not
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