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event happening in the streets of Jerusalem, and there is great excitement throughout the city. Pontius and Mrs. Pilate are standing on the balcony of the palace, waving to the crowds below. They are watching as Jesus and the procession following him slowly make their way through the streets towards Crucifix Hill.
Suddenly, Jesus stumbles and he and his cross crash to the ground. The procession grinds to a standstill. Slowly, Jesus gets back on his feet, picks up the cross, and carries on.
"Pontius, did you see that?" remarks Mrs. Pilate, out of the corner of her mouth, as she continues waving with a smile plastered on her face.
"Yes, dear," replies Pontius, "I'm afraid he did it again."
"Well, I really don't care who he is," remarks Mrs. Pilate. "If he drops his cross one more time, he is out of the parade!"
In the small hours of the morning, Paddy is crawling along the street on his hands and knees. Suddenly, he notices a large pair of boots in front of him, and looking up, he sees the outline of Police Officer O'Leary.
"What is going on here?" asks the cop.
"I'm just looking for a ten-dollar bill," mumbles Paddy.
"Oh!" says O'Leary, "are you sure you lost it here?"
"Well," slobbers Paddy, "I didn't say I had lost one. I'm just looking."
Luigi gets home to Italy from his holiday in California. He is very depressed, and his friend Alfonso asks him, "What's the matter? You no like-a California?"
"Mama mia!" replies Luigi. "What a nightmare! I go-a to California and stay at the Pope and Pasta Hotel in Palm Springs. In the morning, I go-a to breakfast. I tell-a the waiter, `I want two pissis of toast.' He bring-a me only one piss.
"I say, `I want-a two piss.' He say, `Go to the bathroom.' I say, `You no understand. I wanna piss on the plate.' He say, `You no piss on the plate, you son-of-a-bitch!'
"Later, I have-a lunch. The waitress brings me a knife and a spoon, but no fock. I tell her, `I wanna fock.' She tell me, `Everyone wanna fock.' I say, `You no understand, I wanna fock on the table.' She say, `You no gonna fock on the table, you son-of-a-bitch!'
"So I go-a back
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