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Main Index
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fathers, not knowing; it is simply the way of nature. That is the only man available. If the family moves into the commune and dissolves itself into the commune, the children have a tremendously vast scope. Hundreds of uncles, hundreds of aunts, and every woman is different, every man is different. And the child will have the opportunity to learn from everybody.
You can give your love, but you should not possess the child. You should give him freedom to move, relate with as many people as possible. It is one of the greatest problems for psychologists that no man ever finds a women who is totally satisfying; neither a woman ever finds a man who is just tailored for herself. It is always either the coat is loose, or it is too tight, because it is not tailored for you. The boy raised in a family unconsciously gets continuously conditioned by the mother. In his unconscious, an image of the mother becomes impressed, so deeply that his whole life he will try to find a woman who is exactly his mother. But that is impossible -- existence never repeats. So whenever he falls in love, it is only part of the woman that resembles his mother, but it is always part. So when you are just having a love affair, everything goes good, because something in you resembles father of the girl, something in the girl resembles your mother. It is good -- on the beach, in the garden -- you both are at your best. But when you get married and you have to live twenty-four hours, then it becomes troublesome because you cannot pretend that the whole is only that part with which you were in love. The whole is far bigger, and when the whole starts showing it -- and it happens from both the side -- the woman wonders that she never knew this man, she could not have conceived that this man will be such. The man cannot conceive that this women will throw every night tantrums and pillows and scream, and neighbors will come, and even if you are right you have to apologize, otherwise she goes on screaming and crying. You have never thought about this; on the beach she had never behaved like this. (laughter)
No couple in the whole world is absolutely fitting, and the reason is the family. If
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