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I saw in her few very important things: she was very practical, very pragmatic, very clever -- and that was needed to create this commune. It was absolutely essential in the beginning. And she has contributed wholeheartedly. But only in the beginning she was useful. As the commune started growing, taking roots, she became dangerous -- and this is one very important thing to understand, that a person may be useful to a certain limit, and beyond that he can become harmful, he can be dangerous. She was useful up to a limit. She made the commune a strong. She made the commune self-sufficient. She made the commune feel protected, unafraid. But then, by and by, she started the human unconscious urge, lust for power.
She was doing everything in my name. These people were doing everything because of me. I was not available. She was representing me. So whatsoever she wanted to do, just she has to say that, "Bhagwan wants it." And my people did it.
And whatever she wanted to report to me, she reported; whatever she never wanted to report to me, she never reported. And she was the only communication.
When things became too much, she became afraid of three other persons who were also capable of approaching me -- my physician, my dentist, my caretaker. She became afraid that these people may start informing me that, "Sheela is doing something not according to Your wish, that the meditation commune is turning into a concentration camp."
At that point she started to think how to kill these three people. She poisoned two of them, and when she poisoned them then it became clear for me that now I have to come out of my isolation and start speaking again.
And the moment I started speaking again, she started wandering into other communes in Europe, in Australia, in Japan, in Singapore, and she was rarely here. She did not want to face me. Even when she will come here, she will pretend she is sick and she is afraid she will infect me, so she will not come.
Even the last time she came, she pretended that she has cold, so she will wait three, four days, and when her cold is gone she will come to see me. But she wrote a note to me, that, "Now I
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