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is to disappear; if it is really there it will continue, but it will not be sustained by you. On the contrary, it will sustain you. And that's the basic thing to be understood: you need not sustain a love; love sustains you. And if it sustains you, perfectly good; if it is no more nourishing, it is finished, it is better to say so, to say goodbye and move on. Nothing can be done.
If love has disappeared, there is no way to produce it on order. If it is not there, it is not there. Yes, you can pretend, you can still go on smiling and hugging the person, but you are not there. How long will it be so? And the man will start feeling it, because it was not the hug that thrilled him -- it was something else inside... and that is missing. You are smiling but your heart is not there. You look at the person and yet you are not looking at the person; your eyes are somewhere else.
This is the real way to live. It is living in danger. And all those who really want to live have to choose this way; otherwise you become a pseudo person. You only go on doing a kind of drama, a theatre, you only act. Your actions are not actions but only acts. And you have masks... but what is the point of that?
My feeling is that this is beautiful. Be courageous -- go with this new vision, live this vision, and you will be infinitely benefitted by it. You are not going to be a loser. I can understand your fear, because you know how to cope in the old way. In this new way you will not know what to do -- this a new language.
Shyness is always a by-product of a very very subtle ego. Shyness is never the problem; it is a symptom -- that you have a very subtle ego. So with the familiar it is okay; with the unfamiliar there is danger. With the familiar you are skillful -- the ego knows what to do and how to remain in power. With the unfamiliar, with the unknown, the ego is at a loss because it has no skills for the unknown. So it shrinks, withdraws, and that shrinking feeling is called shyness. Shyness is always part of ego. The more egoistic a person is, the more shy, because he cannot open himself to new situations, because new situations may prove him to be a fool. The
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