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am I? This too will be unclear. It is as if you have suddenly come to some alien world. It lasts only a moment then you come back together, because this shock isn't such a great shock. And then too you are used to it -- it happens every day. You get up every morning: you return from the world of dreams into the world of wakefulness. This routine is old, yet sometimes when it happens suddenly you are startled and frightened.
When the real awakening happens you will be completely speechless. You won't have any idea what is happening. Everything will become calm and silent.
But it was good. "... Neither scene nor spectator remained, not even the observer remained. Everything disappeared but still something was." It is to help you to comprehend this "something" that I speak on scriptures -- so you become capable of interpreting it. You can give meaning to this "something," you can identify it, you can define it. If not, it can drown you. You will be carried away in a flood, you won't have any place to stand. Hence I go on saying so many things.
"Everything disappeared but still something was. Sometimes dark, sometimes light playing hide and seek. But since then anxiety has increased and I cannot understand all this."
Put it away, keep what I say to you. Make a jewelled box for it. Don't take it as wisdom but only as information. Consciously make a box for it. Then gradually you will find, as experiences begin happening, that my words arise from your unconscious, and make clear and comprehensible the experiences that happen. I will be your witness.
But if you argue with me as you listen I cannot become your witness -- you listen and you are creating some kind of internal struggle against me, refuting me. If you are not listening sympathetically, lovingly, but go on debating, then I cannot be your witness because then when you put something in your box it won't be mine, it will be yours.
Last night a psychologist from Australia took sannyas. I told him, "You are welcome here even if you don't take sannyas. But then you will not become my guest. You are welcomed. But if you take sannyas you are welcome here and you will also become
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