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if you start telling people, everybody will believe it. So it is better that you have it."
So he took me into his surgery, he gave me the chloroform and told me: "Count from one, two, three, and go on." I went on... when I reached fifty-one, he said, "Wait! I have never seen anybody who goes beyond seven, eight, nine at the most."
I said, "Your dose is not enough. You will have to give me at least a dose of three times more."
He said, "My God... but in the first place, chloroform is no longer used. And using it three times! But I can see... the way you were repeating, and when I said, `Wait!' you immediately opened your eyes."
So he gave me a good dose. I said, "I will consider it a good dose only if I stop at nine."
He said, "What do you mean? You will also know that you are stopping at nine?"
I said, "I will know it and I will tell you when I have stopped. So don't try to deceive me."
He gave me a good dose, and I remember that I started going slower, deeper; the numbers were as if they are coming from far away, and when nine came, I said, "Okay."
He said, "You are not supposed to speak while under chloroform!"
I said, "You should have said so before; I am a very obedient patient. Your dose is still not right."
I could feel that my numbers were getting slurred. But that is not a big thing -- after three, I get slurred anyway. Under chloroform, I was exactly, without any mistake going up to fifty-one. Without chloroform, I cannot go beyond three!
Five times the dose he had to give me, but it was a good experience. As you come back, you can see the whole circle if you are alert enough. If you are not alert enough, then too, you can feel this much: when you stopped, and when again you can remember that you had stopped at nine. And as consciousness comes back, you can see that you have passed through a dark tunnel.
But this is just a toy.
In the real experience also, it happens in the same way. When you are coming out of your unconscious there will be a period which can only be called a period of mist. Everything is unclear, surrounded by mist.
THEN THE GATES OF HIS HEART
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