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laughing about what? Laughing about the whole world; that you have it within you and still you are searching for it. LAUGHING A NEW LAUGH. A meditator laughs a new laugh. Its freshness comes from his depths.
Another Zen saying:
FOR TEN YEARS I COULD NOT RETURN;
NOW I HAVE FORGOTTEN THE ROAD
BY WHICH I CAME.
He is saying that he has reached his origins. It took ten years to find it, and now he has forgotten the road, how to come back -- THE ROAD BY WHICH I CAME.
Please, don't you do that! Every day I take you to the very origin of things, but I don't leave you there long enough. I keep Nivedano alert. Somebody may forget the way back; then I will be responsible. But Nivedano has a good drum, and he is finding some other, better instruments. So in spite of yourself, you are suddenly awake. Before you know it, you have come back.
There is not much distance between you as you are and as your original being is. The difference is so slight -- just a drum beat, a hit on your head by Master Niskriya, anything can bring you back.
This Zen master who remained for ten years and could not come back must have been searching alone, without a master. Otherwise the master gives you a certain rope; he does not allow you to go beyond that. He gives you a taste of your being -- that is enough -- and a remembrance of it. He takes you through the rose garden and the fragrance of the roses hangs around your clothes. That much is enough. You know who you are and your actions express your sincerity, your every gesture becomes a buddha gesture. Just two minutes are enough to reach the origin of your being.
I go on watching: when I say die, I have to watch whether somebody is really dying. Otherwise I will be proved a criminal, that I ordered him to die and he died. So I have to keep watch. And the only way is, I have to feel your heart throbbing -- ten thousand hearts throbbing. And my arithmetic is not good, but somehow I manage. At least up to now I have managed. One never knows about tomorrow, or even tonight.
Sardar Gurudayal Singh is laughing, and he is one of the fellows who may become lost and not come back. He
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