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But if you trust -- and trust is needed, there is no other way, for if you doubt then you will shrink and the seed will never die -- but if you trust, the seed dies. The seed cannot know the tree, that is the problem. The seed wants to be certain,"If I die I will become the tree." But how can you make the seed certain?
This is the absurdity of faith. Faith is absurd. You want to be certain that, "I can become a sannyasin, I can renounce all, I am ready to die, but what is the guarantee that when the seed is no more, the tree will be there?" Who can give you the guarantee and how can the guarantee be given? And even if the guarantee is given, the seed to whom it is given will not be there. And what guarantee can prove to the seed that when it is not there the tree will be there? No guarantee is possible.
That's why faith is absurd. Believing in that which cannot be believed is the meaning of faith -- believing in that which cannot be believed; there is no way to believe it and still you believe it. The seed dies in deep trust and the tree is born. But a 'tilled earth' is needed, a right ground is needed. The whole of discipleship is just to become a tilled ground.
... IT PRODUCES A LARGE TREE AND BECOMES SHELTER FOR ALL THE BIRDS OF HEAVEN.
And when your tree has really grown, when it has become a Buddha-tree, then millions of birds who are in search come and take shelter. Under Jesus many 'birds of heaven' take shelter; under Buddha many 'birds of heaven' take shelter. To those who are in search of the deepest, that tree -- the Buddha-tree, the Jesus-tree -- becomes a shelter and there they can feel the unknown throbbing. There they can trust, there they can come to an understanding with the unknown, and there they can take the jump.
THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS LIKE A MUSTARD SEED....
You are the kingdom of heaven, you are like a mustard seed. Be ready to die, prepare for your death! Of course there will be trembling and fear and apprehension. The jump is going to be difficult. Many times you may come back, many times you will go to the very brink and turn back and escape, because there is an abyss. The seed can only know the
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