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the sex energy is released. It will change.
[Another tantra group participant says: I didn't have sex very freely. Every time I am with a woman I feel very tired and want to sleep.... The second thing is... I don't know if I am really a sannyasin, because it is very easy for me to change clothes and names; I have always done this.]
[Osho says that the day one takes sannyas one may not actually become a sannyasin; it can happen days or weeks, months or years afterwards. The taking of sannyas is just a gesture of willingness for the inner sannyas to happen.... ]
And the second thing -- that's my feeling also: you are afraid of women, you want to avoid them. That's why I told you to go into the tantra group -- to become alert about it. I was not thinking that this tantra group is going to give you great experiences of sexual ecstasy, no. I was just thinking that it would give you the experience, the awareness, that you avoid women, that you don't really want to go into any relationship, that deep down you are against woman and you are against your body too.
Sleep is one of the ways to escape, but that is a very childish way; that too also shows something. Children do that: when they want to escape from something they fall asleep. But this is very indicative that from your very childhood you have become afraid of sex; people have made you afraid. Maybe it was your mother who has made you very much afraid of it knowingly, unknowingly... hence the fear of women that they are going to castrate you.
Man has always remained afraid of women for many reasons. One is the mother, because every man has been brought up by a woman. The mother was powerful, so powerful that every child knows that the father was nothing. So the fear -- that if you are in the grip of a woman you know that you will become hen-pecked. How to avoid her ? You must have avoided your mother by falling asleep.
[The sannyasin says: She committed suicide.]
That may also be a reason to be afraid of women. I'm not saying what actually happened, but that may also be one of the reasons why you are afraid. That may be one of the reasons: the mother committed suicide
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