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That's what Jesus meant when he said to Nicodemus that unless a man is born again, nothing can be done. Unless a man is born again he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. This is the birth he was talking about -- rebirth, this is resurrection.
[A sannyasin has returned, after two years in the West, to spend a month here. She says it was very difficult, and a friend helped her return to Poona. She had many problems and is afraid of the same problems on her return.]
Mm mm. The problem has nothing to do with sannyas or with your being here or there. You are the problem, so wherever you are the problem will be there... unless you drop it! And I am saying not that you have to solve it; you have to drop it. If one starts trying to solve a problem, more problems arise. Now solving it becomes a problem. One has to understand, one has to see the problem, see what it is. In that very seeing the problem is dropped.
For example, my feeling is that your problem is that you have not yet been flowing in love. The reason seems to be that you desire somebody to love you but you don't love, you don't give, or even if you give, you give very miserly. If you don't love you will feel abandoned, you will feel lonely, you will feel helpless.
Now [your friend] has helped you; that can become a problem. For example, if you become perfectly okay you will be afraid that you may lose his love. He loved you because you were feeling lonely, depressed, abandoned. Now if you don't feel abandoned, if you are no more lonely, if you are on your own and perfectly healthy, then what will be the point of his love? -- it will be pointless.
So now you will persist in your mood, you will try to keep it because now it will have an investment in it. You will want to remain helpless and you will want to remain feeling abandoned so that his love goes on flowing towards you. This is how dangerous it is; it is very dangerous.
Never ask for sympathy. Never! Once you ask for sympathy you will never be able to love, because then sympathy will not be coming any more. Many women learn that trick; it is one of the most ancient, feminine strategies, to ask for sympathy. Sooner
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